Signs of a Double Energy Field, Sexual Energy Drains, The Double Mind and Belief System, Loves me Loves me not; Painting by Ilya Repin
There’s a disorder I call a double energy field. I have seen it all my life. It is responsible for so many conditions I cannot list them all. Two things are surely indicative of it, though, manic mood swings and depression; and problems holding energy to the completion of a project or aim ie. short circuiting or losing mojo half way through to a goal.
A person with a double energy field, actually has two energy fields fighting for dominance over the body’s energy. This results in energy getting skewed and many vital body tasks never reaching fulfillment as they get abandoned energy-less half way.
Like this sculpture from Ancient Greece. Imagine trying to move in any direction, while the other part of us wants to go the other way.
No one is born with a double energy field.
We have a life purpose and our soul manifests our body, every last detail, to fulfill that life purpose.
When we for whatever reason become disconnected from our soul, and start to invest our energy towards something other than our primal life purpose, our energy begins flowing in ways different from our natural flow.
Our natural vital sexual energy gets converted to mental energy to sustain that false purpose and we are physically, sexually,vitally drained.
If this unnatural energy pattern is sustained, it becomes magnetized into a habit and soon begins to throw its influence on the body in ever widening circles.
It begins to interfere in our natural patterns, leaching off energy to sustain itself and for its purposes.
In the usual course of events such a field would only last maybe a few hours, but these fields go on to develop thicker and thicker fed by us holding a false reality and developing a false personality to match that false reality.
In the 90s Ed, when people got on the internet for the first time, many internet services could be had while being completely anonymous. You weren’t tracked like these days. You could just log off from somewhere, close a window and be cut off from that activity.
There was a vibrant internet chat scene with various programs and websites where people chose a nick name and could speak with others. You could have this totally different personality with no connection to your reality.
The first week I was at university, in the computer lab, I got shown how to do various sorts of internet chatting. I was warned not to choose a nick name too girly or I’d be bombarded by guys looking to hook up with someone. So I chose a nick name “Acrusto”. It reminded me of the Count of Monte Cristo, who I’ve been a fan of for surviving so many years underground in prison, and then coming back to take revenge on the evils who put him in prison and stole the love of his life. It was not too girly.
In about a minute I was bombarded by messages asking for my “ASL”. I was informed that that meant “Age Sex Location”. “Don’t say anything true,” I was advised by the friendly guy from Singapore, at the next computer. But me being me, I could not say a lie. I replied, “19 f Australia.”
That was it. About 30 windows appeared of various people messaging me. “Choose three or four,” friendly Singaporean guy said, “Forget the rest.”
Long story short, I chose to speak only to one (I believe in the integrity of giving attention to one person at a time in a conversation. I believe it’s rude not to. And actually, I don’t have that multi tasking ability.)
That person said his name was Dave and started off describing himself to me. He said he was 6 feet tall and had green eyes and that he was besotted by my ‘vibe’. I read with great interest and then heard people laughing behind me. A few guys I never saw in my life before, at other computers were all laughing and I didn’t know why. I told “Dave” I’d speak to him the next day, and logged off my university id on the computer and went back to the lodgings.
A housemate at home who was in his final year at the university asked me what I’d done that day at Uni and I told him about how I spoke to guy on the internet who had green eyes and how I’ve never seen green eyes in person.
When I mentioned the green eyes, the housemate said, “Wait a minute, did he say his name was Dave?” To my shock he went on to describe “Dave.” I discovered that “Dave” was a creepy guy who looked completely the opposite of his online description, who collected information about girls on that chat channel while giving them this totally fictional picture about himself, and he would then barter that information with other guys on the chat channel. By now, I was told that I would be the target of several guys.
I was stunned. I had so completely believed what that Dave had said.
I was later to discover myself how one could develop a personality online divorced from reality. I’d after all been carrying a fake personality myself since I was 8 and because of acute trauma I had suppressed. So I really understood that.
Now it could all be just fun, if done for a short while, Ed, but at university and later I was to see how a sustained false personality developed a double energy field and how this energy field could get so big it could start messing with a person’s energy levels.
You will not find ONE person Ed, who has a developed sustained false personality online, or virtual reality as they call it, that does not have a critical energy problem in real life. I have seen hundreds now over the years. Many of them work out and go jogging and live “healthy” but still have a double energy field, because of their double personality.
When I returned to Bangalore in 2001, I was to see the devastation caused by the then new “Call Center” industry where very young adults were taught to develop a false personality, have a fake name, speak in a fake accent and pretend to be someone else.
I was treated like the devil for saying it was a crime. Not just the deception of the other person on the line, but a crime against those being taught to do that.
I used to see Ed, that those people used to have double energy fields and each energy field with its own set of bio rhythms clashing with the other. I thought perhaps this was the problem with those who worked in the night and slept in the day but I later saw the double bio rhythms even in those who did not work at night. A false field just has its own timings going depending on when it gets stimulated.
Believe it or not, Ed, not one of those young people I came across then in the call center industry went on to have a normal life. Most of them had severe sexual energy problems in their twenties, just barely managed to reproduce (to keep their parents shut up, keep the line going so to speak) and became dependent on stimulants and drugs of various sorts to keep alive. Those who maintained “healthy” lifestyles had it worse, suddenly getting diagnosed with weird conditions unheard of before. And Ed, some of those are now actually dead.
The things they were so enthusiastic about at 20, they had no energy for just a year later. Five years later they were in “loving friendly sexless” relationships for financial reasons and no plans of anything more because… “too tired”. Then the doctors visits started. The half baked attempts to go natural. Depression, sadism, cynism. Huge amounts of money on supplements from all over the world. Auto-immune disease. Crazy diets. Hair loss. Divorce. Cancer.
So I have seen, Ed, with my own eyes, how double energy fields suck and drain a body and a life, cause premature aging and destroy a person’s sexual energy levels.
I have experienced the same in my own system but it happened really early to me, so I got a head start on healing. At 19 I had heart attacks. Now of course, in 2022, it’s normalized. You know why. But it was unheard of in 2000. It was because my body could no longer support my double energy field. I had to choose my natural self or die or live half dead surviving on pharma medicines.
I went through a difficult time exhuming my original atrophied energy field, deprived and drained continuously through my teenage years. But here is something I learned.
You can unite a double energy field by giving attention to your belief system and view of reality ; and investing in your reality.
There was this political prisoner in the Russian gulag, Ed. On one hand he’d been arrested for wanting to emigrate to Israel because he and his family had been treated very bad in Russia for being Jewish. On the other hand he himself was a product of the Russian school and education system that taught them that communism was the right way, the Government only wanted the best for everyone, that everything was fair and no one was being treated bad.
He called it his “double mind”. He was literally actually imprisoned and he still kept also believing that he’d be treated fair.
He finally got out because of some sort of prisoner swapping negotiation political deal.
But not before he gave up his double mind.
A double view of reality where we believe two very different things at the same time, keeps our energy skewed, our very biorhythms messed up.
Anyone who’s been in a situation where they weren’t sure if they were in love with someone or not, or whether someone was in love with them or not, will understand how disruptive and upsetting it can be. You don’t know in which direction to go, you are constantly energy short circuited in everything you do.
You have no peace till the matter is settled this way or that.
That’s what having a double mind, double identity, double vision of reality does to us, but in a hidden way.
When I began to try and get rid of the double energy field and fake personality I had, Ed, I was shocked to discover how strong a sway it had over me. I didn’t know how to choose clothes for example. I didn’t know what I really liked.
The worst bit was the mood swings. I had gotten used to having two completely different moods at the same time. Extreme depression on one hand and actual detachment and peace at the same time.
Uniting myself meant facing the most crushing defeats of my life, disappointment and betrayal that no tears could ever express. It meant facing a reality that scared me terribly.
In my case, a reality the “world” would never validate.
I’d have to learn to INVEST IN MY REALITY instead of wishing it away.
I took the help of herbs, my angels, my friends at every step of the way. I have described some of them in the following articles.
Release Pain caused by Buried or Suppressed Memory; Herbs & an Exercise
Herbs to relax Heart Muscle Tension and release PTSD patterns
The Soul has a Homeland; Healing Energy Depression; Upper-Lower Body Conflict
Manic Anxiety Disorder; The Serpent Point, and Mistletoe
Herbs to Release Pent-up Rage
Herbal Super Nervine Mix for Emergencies; Trauma Support
I leave you, Ed, with this painting by Ilya Repin, 1876.